Have you ever been added to a group without your permission? How did that make you feel?
I know it frustrates me and many of my friends. We want to CHOOSE what we belong to, right?
But sometimes, we develop habits and attitudes that land us in groups that don't contribute anything positive to us or to others. Often times, we don't even realize that we've joined!
And so it is with "The Whine and Dine Club".
Although the "whine" I'm talking about isn't something you drink, you can still drown in it.
Let me tell you about my experience with belonging to "The Whine and Dine Club". A group of us would meet over lunch. We'd spend the time whining and complaining about what wasn't going right, who had treated us poorly, etc., like we were going to get an award for it. The only positive that ever came from these luncheons is afterward when I could make the comparison that I was better off than they were.
It was a time, energy, and money drain.
Then I read this quote by Jim Rohn, "You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with."
Wow! That really hit me between the eyes! Suddenly I could see the downward spiral I was in because of these luncheons. And although I didn't think I spent the most time with these women, the effects of the time we did spend together shaded everything else I saw, attempted, or thought of between the luncheons.
A simple luncheon between friends had turned into a monthly event that I began to call "The Whine and Dine Club.".
At our next luncheon, I explained that I wanted to try a different approach and talk only about ideas that inspired each other, things that had gone well, and how we could support each other. They all agreed that it was a great idea... But then chimed back into old patterns, old thoughts, and old complaints.
That's when I gently removed myself from membership. But, that alone wasn't enough. I needed to find other like-minded people who were what I wanted to become... not just professionally but also personally.
I worked hard to seek people out. Some said no, they were too busy. Some said yes. And some embraced me and brought me into their circle. It's been amazing. And it all started when I realized I had inadvertently joined "The Whine and Dine Club" and cancelled my membership.
Here's what I'm asking you to do: take a look at the people you spend time with (outside of your family). Do they make you feel better or worse when you are around them? Do you feel empowered or frustrated? Do you feel excited and motivated or defeated and pessimistic?
If you don't like the answer you get, here's the good news: You get to cancel that membership and find a new group!!!
If you like the group you're already hanging out with, how can you add more to their lives and journey?
I'd love to hear your thoughts... Have you ever belonged to a "Whine and Dine Club"? How did you recognize it and how did you find a new, positive group of people to hang out with? Please post your comments below!